Omggg...

Sheesh, now this is one of those many many times when i end up pulling my hair and fretting over which decision to make. 

And i hate it, hate being in such a situation where you can only have a small piece of the pie, and nothing more nothing else. It's driving me entirely crazy because i really don't know what to do. Quandary, as the prof will say during his rather witty presentation on GP, but the word does not encapsulates whatever i'm feeling right now: it's emo turmoil. This is one of those crucial times where you make or you break, just by making a seemingly simple decision.

Apparently mad wants j1s joining the cca to put it as a first cca, both break and hiphop. And in other words, it means no council, no huang cheng, no anything with heavy commitments. But somehow i can't let go of council; i'm still passionate about it even though it's gonna be different for college. And at the same time i wanna go daaannnnnce; i was never hesitant about signing up for it, since last year? Seriously this sucks big time. And and i wanna experience what's huang cheng abt, cause it's basically captures what being in hc college is all about. I wanna relive the experience again, the stage experience. But i can't have it all, can't have everything. And i still wonder why i went for gefang auditions when there's like so many problems and issues to think over and over again. It's so stressful, loads of what ifs. I'm just so confused, messed up and just don't know what to do. I know i'll have to take a step at a time but the more steps i take and the deeper i get, the bigger the mess/trouble i'm getting myself into. Feels like being torn apart, not knowing what to do and where to go.

And now i need a little bit of personal space and time. It's like one of those times where after loads of hanging out and people interaction, you just wanna have some privacy and space to yourself and no others. One of the reasons why i didn't go for og outing today, sorry og39 >.< I need time, to understand information and to fit myself into the environment. Everything's changing so fast so quick, even the lectures are going at insane speed sometimes. I need to be with myself, to find and recover my identity i guess, and readjust my life, getting it right cause i don't think it's alright. I shall see what's going to happen, then make a decision

I need rest, and i shall go sleep now before it's too late...


where the roads will take me to?

 haha hello there!

to begin with, it's my first post in 2008 and yeah i know it's super late to say this but hey all, happy new year! It's a brand new start and best wishes to all. And now for the cliché phrases: may there be world peace, may poverty be eradicated from the face of this earth, may there be less disasters etc etc. and a whole lot of other things, but we very well know that such things will not happen just yet, so it's like saying them for the sake of saying, like a ritual or something. There's still a long way to go before the world becomes a better place.

Orientation was simply AWESOMMEE!!... Everything was fantabulous: the games, the performances, the cheers, the DANCES, the SONGS, war games;  everything was just exhilarating and fun, and i enjoyed every second of it. I think it has certainly changed my attitude towards college life cause previously I was quite apprehensive about it, with new people and new culture. But I guess this is a change that I have to acknowledge and accept as part of my life and get on with it. High school's over and has become part of my memories; there's no turning back. And so, i guess i'm ready to look ahead then.

Lol, and og 39 roxx!!! I remember how we jumped in the hall singing the hc songs, how we played the games and persevered through them all, how we as various individuals bonded together and become one. And i'll never forget the very first outing we had at island creamery, eatng ice-cream and talking about everything under the sun (or more specifically, moonlight). Haha, and the dinner at al-ameen, eating murtabaks, pratas and briyani while designing tshirts for eddie and guo jie together. OH OH, and how can i forget the very last night as an og, ordering pizzas and playing with candles, sparklers in school! ^^ that was really memorable and our hearts were like the candles in the night, huddled together as one og 39, never wanting to be separated, and shining brightly together, for one more night, one last time. You can say we emoed through the entire night, needing the weird, insensitive security guard to chase us out of school, bleh.

And next day, smack right in the face I have to face the truth, that I wasn't in an og but a class, a class that more or less is gonna last for 2 whole years. Well I got the combi I wanted and I could actually guess who, most of them hc guys, is gonna be in my class. Thankfully, I didn't dislike my class, partly because there wasn't anyone i detest and there wasn't too many prcs. Hey don't get me wrong yeah, i've got nothing against prcs but it's just that there are so many in our school that some classes, which some of my friends are in and mostly the physics classes, have a ridiculously high number of them. And the whole boys-to-girls ratio for certain classes, again mstly physics ones, are just pathetic; imagine having twice the number of boys to girls in your class. Sheesh, now I really know why some people love their ogs and hate their classes, totally. 

I guess 08s71 gradually grew onto me, like how og 39 did. And in a sense, i'm already loving my class. Though we didn't win the performance or anything, i guess everyone of us played our part, be it to learn the dance, to paint the shirt and flag. And miracles do happen for us, like our performance. We still pulled through together with just a night's of practise. The feeling's just incredible and I still remember the crazy stuff that our seniors made us do as a tradition, like getting everyone to squeeze onto one canteen table, and then eating up a watermelon in one minute, haha. It was crazy, but it was quite fun i guess, woohoo. Lol, and imagine if spending time together as 08s71 in 4 days is already so amazing, then what about 2 whole years (:

Sheesh, yeah but i think there's an identity crisis that everyone has to face. It's like og vs class vs high school pals vs previous ep3s etc etc, so much so that it's quite inevitable that there's always some "distancing" from previous friends, which I really dislike and don't want. I really hope that we can still as friends, that the people that I used to know, as much as possible, will still be the same.

og39.08s71.apollo (:

and always an isparkian, a hwachong zi di



letting go of all i've held onto

hello! back from a series of chalets, almost back-to-back.

Lol, i think it's the most tiring week out of my entire hols, but boy was it fun! 12 slc and pcps chalet sort of clashed so at least it wasn't really back-to-back and had some time to go home and sleeeeepppp. Yes, the importance of sleep. There's once I went about 45 hours without sleep, totally zombified. Gosh, i'm never gonna try doing that again, but then again, you don't go chalets to sleep, do you?

12 slc chalet was uber fun alright, glad to see so many babes and dudes back for it. Facs, OT and just about everyone else drop by and most stayed over anyway. And the gathering's even more meaningful after my trip. Movie marathons, mahjong, cards, poool ^^ what more can you ask for? Oh, and music and lyrics is super nice and funny, wonder why i didn't catch it in the cinemas.

Pcps chalet wasn't exactly a success though; as usual cliques formed. There wasn't much interaction other than between cliques and it's quite terrible with two camps around. Success? Well maybe to those who's organising it and I appreciate them for it, but then again, we could have made a conscious effort to include everyone and make it really a 6a chalet. I'm not saying that one should start liking and be friends with one another; you can't force people to do what they don't like and what they are uncomfortable. But just because previously 4 years ago you have a certain for someone or some group doesn't mean you continue doing so. Sworn enemies without any possible reconcilation? I doubt so. People change over time, and so can you. Look at others from another perspective, empathise and understand, maybe you'll get it. Sheesh, and I hate myself for not trying to talk to the others and get to know them better. Sigh.

Other than that i guess 6a chalet was fun, albeit only to a certain group of people, me included. As usual card games dominated (bridge hearts, big 2), as well as just-for-fun games like 7 level pig, murderer and polar bear (jiamin's addiction and obsession with it =.=) which really bonded us together. Went to settlers cafe and played board games after a night without sleep. Omg the gold mine game and the pattern game was super fun! They offer a lot of non-mainstream games that were fun and cool. Action-packed stuff, though i wonder how i manage to do it being half-awake, haha. And the best thing is having fun with a group of great friends. It was really worth the time and money. Gosh, i've just found the right place to relax and loosen up ^^ oh yeah!!

Haha, and guess what!? That's not the end of chalets. Squad chalet was next, and it's constant fun. Mahjong, cards, pool, yeah the same stuff. Haha and of course there wasn't any problem for us with the bbq fire, except that we needed to borrow additionol charcoal from others. Oh oh and it was really great fun talking through the night, telling stories, playing mahjong and of course jamming the buttons while playing naruto on the ps2, haha.

Lol, and i watched national treasure: book of secrets and warlords! two must-see movies of the year yeah, both equally thrilling, although i must say i really like the plot of warlords and the character development of the three heroes throughout the show. Five-star ratings yo!!

haha, i guess this has been the most fulfilling and awesome week of my hols. Rock on everyone! xD Rawrrr!

lol, in the meantime long overdue photos from China, haha



Gosh, and more or less a week more to the new year, to the start of school. I'm really looking forward to school. I've chose my subject and i hope i'll be placed in a nice class, haha. Oh well, but at the same time there's much anxiety in me, for it's gonna be a new start all tgt. Not too worried at all though, everything's gonna be alright, be strong believe (:

haha oh yeah before i forget, on this eve of christmas i shall wish everyone out there Merry Christmas! Peace be on Earth! And Happy Holidays! ^^ 



Last Christmas, I gave you my heart... 

it still hurts

hello world! sexy's back ^^

and now for the adventures of the ching chong chinaman! Yep, this time it's an exclusive preview of the series - Survivor Chinarrr: one month in Beijing (yeah it's more than just one night)

haha oh well i'm just crapping but anyway, the beijing trip turned out to be much better than expected and thank God nothing serious has happened to anyone of us. All of us back, safe and sound yeah, that's all that matters. I wouldn't call my one month stay in beijing a complete waste, just that now i've only 2 weeks left to prepare for the new year and get all ready. Great. Well the festive season's coming so there isn't much reason to be whiny and upset ^^ i guess i haven't made much use of my hols, owing to chinarrr and o lvls but yeah, i can't say that my hols have been a waste either. Did some thinking and reflections on my own; in lc's words, to contemplate life. My soul's rejuvenated. And definitely, I'm a changed person and have grown stronger (:

okay back to china! beijing's alright and comfortable but way too cold; it snowed heavily once in the last week of the trip when usually it's suppose to start snowing at the end of dec. I still prefer shaaanghai though, oh yeah. Well we toured around the beijing satellite campus and stayed in some foreign student's hostel of the beijing normal university which was next to the exchange school. The trip this time was much better, probably because we have much more free time to roam around anywhere in beijing, as compared to the sec 3s who have assignments and tests during their stay in the campus. And the shopping's really really fantastic, had a fun time bargaining and getting a nice price. Haha, and needless to say, we kinda angered those people there, but well we don't really care. Oh, and we manage to find a 77th street shop in beijing xD apparently they set up an underground shopping centre called 77th street plaza and got people to sell fashionable apparel and accessories there O.o

Looking back, I really enjoyed the trip, though i still rmb how i dread going to china and whine abt it almost everyday. Great memories too, like how lc, alvin, xingyun, shenhong and me hanged out together a lot, bitched a lot, talked alot of rubbish and kept calling each other names haha, in the name fun of course. Oh yeah, and not forgetting our fav haunt: cheng du xiao chi! xP gosh i think i'll miss the yang rou chuan and the dumplings. And beijing roast duck was fabulous, succulent and tender meat which you wrap it up with cucumber and sauce, like popiah. And how we all turned into movie junkies, buying movie dvds and watching them every night. Oh, and the theme's always comedy and humour, heh.

Heroes is incredible, really. I ripped the dvd from jon and it kept me alive during times of boredom at night. Kept my mind off the amount of days, hours, minutes, seconds left to the final day. I simply love the plot and the various meaningful thoughts and ideas brought out by it. Really awesome, and I'll be going into the second season soon ^^ rock on!

Though i'm back and still trying hard to face the reality that i'm really back home, part of me still rmbs beijing and the good old times we've had. Now it's just left with two weeks and it's separate ways, no doubt. All that's left are memories, pictures captured in time, sigh.

Well, will post more stuff abt the trip soon yeah, till then




still don't know the answer, still waiting for it

(:

9 more hours to my flight, and 1 month of china, bleh. I hope I'll survive, and come back in one proper piece again. Please, no more china hospital >.< well at least we are taking SIA there, no more "Chinarr Easterrrr Hairlines..." Yeah, that's how the air stewardess pronounce it anyway, irritating.

Went to cheok's house ytd for fun. Damn, i wanna play hellgate london, the graphics is O.o, super cool. And it has quite an interesting storyline, beats Halo 1/2/3 hands down. Sigh, but it will lag like crazy on my laptop cause it needs like 1 gig ram!? No point bah... Haha, and i went to jc's house with ced to practise some guitar. Heh, I realised many nice songs like "collide" and "how to save a life" are quite easy to play, but yeah must practise more often. Wish I could bring my guitar along to china. lol, i wonder what happened to the bsp band idea.

in the mean time, lifebox!



yay, i'm quite proud of it. Well basically I have this metal butter cookies box which I store personal stuff in it, things that are dear, significant and memorable to me. The canvas is quite small so these are some of the items in it, so it kinda represents my life, with my bus card that has a screwed-up pic of me (that's whyi didn't paint it), SLC lanyards, mt kinabalu lanyard, iCouncil jigsaw-framed photo, the old student's council badge, mongolia "gerr" and yeah, the traditional chinese jade/chop that has my name on it, to represent my roots and identity i guess. But of course, these items won't be the only ones in the box, for there's more to come ^^

Well I guess I'll miss all my family and friends, and vice versa. Heh, don't worry people, it's only one month! (trying very hard to be optimistic) I'll be back in no time, and I'll be a better person. Miss me ^^ , till then...

Ships can remain at the safe harbour for eternity, but that's not what ships are made for
-Outward Bound




When I'm all alone with the melody

Lol, i didn't know i was an INFP. I think MBTI constantly changes throughout our youth, like when i did the test in Sec 2 it was an ENFP, then later in Sec 3 when I did it I became an ISTJ and yeah, now i'm an INFP, but this time i'm quite sure this is my personality for it's quite apt and accurate about me. shrugs. the dreamer (: sandman, haha. I think he's probably an INFP too, being the creator of Dreams. Speaking of which, i wanna watch stardust! haha, heard it's pretty nice.

bought jay chou's latest album but it was largely disappointing. I think 彩虹's the only the nice song. The design of the album is so lame, and its title too. "我很忙"!? makes no sense at all. the cowboy-ish image doesn't suit him at all. oh well, probably he's too busy to come up with another smashing album, like November's Chopin. Bleh.

I'm bored. I applied for a job to keep me occupied but there wasn't any news at all. Needless to say, I think it was turned down because of my month-long China trip. Nobody wants to hire people that works for only one or two weeks. Fat hope. >.<

haha, and the only good thing that happened so far was that I finally completed my first oil painting, yay.




maybe... someday...

too far to turn around

okay hmm, i haven't posted for quite a while

just woke up, yawnz*. The hols have just begun but i'm already bored. Seriously. To the extent that i'm actually looking forward to the china trip, gosh. Flying off on 18 nov, and i really wonder how am i going to survive this month-long trip >.< oh wells, speaking of china i realised it has been one year since the wenzhou-shanghai-shandong trip, which brings back really awful memories. And yeah, exactly one year ago, i was in some shitty random wenzhou hospital, wondering when our entire group will be able to go home *shudders* the food poisoning incident was the last thing that i wanna rmb: i don't wanna go through that agonising, horrifying exp. ever again, hmph. Oh, and i still have the get well card ispark wrote to me from home ^^ so sweet... yeah well i guess i've been stronger and smarter since that incident, which is why i've stocked up... cup noodles! yes done so specially for the trip, meaning no more consumption of suspiciously-looking china food which would otherwise jeopardise the health of everyone (: call me kiasu, kiasi or anything but as always it's better to be safe than sorry. But at least it's beijing, so it's more of the weather that we have to worry...

Much has happened: selection camp, hcl o levels, meetings and yeah, np chalet. Selection camp was a blur, thanks to the concurrent chinese lessons from 8 to 3 everyday in preparation for the exam and it's just intense drilling, doing papers, reading jianbaos, doing compos, all the mundane stuff. So yeah, I was groggy and couldn't care much abt the chi lessons. Amazingly, the chinese notes that wong gave in one week was more than what tanhc gave for physics in a year O.o and it was about one third the thickness of the bio notes in a year. I couldn't be bothered cause it's just impossible to read finish everything in this short period of time so yeah i just read some jianbaos, fanwens and revise geshi.

Hcl o levels wasn't as bad as i thought, which in a way it's bad. Paper 1 topics were alright but boring... there wasn't reall much you can elaborate and talk abt for yingyongwen and the zuowen. Paper 2 was surprisingly easy, even easier than last year's, which is very bad because the cut off line for a1 and a2 would be higher and you will have to depend on yr paper 1 to get good grades. And i think i somewhat screwed up paper 1; the feel wasn't there, gahh. I need an a2, zzz. Bleh.

Went for np chalet bbq ytd nite, and hmm, i guess it was rather disappointing, so much that we seniors cooked for ourselves rather than our juniors do for us. And they can't even start a bbq fire. Haha but it's good that such events are organised, if not np life will be too mundane. And HO and maumu was there ytd, so yeah... i'm definitely not going back. Affirmative.

haha, and i've been looping RJA's your guardian angel, in love with it i guess. It's not really a new song but yeah, it flows into my soul ^^



falling asleep, only in hopes of dreaming

hey world, I dunno what to say but there's emptiness in me.

iSpark Nite on thurs, and this farewell, no doubt emotionally-overwhelming, was strange and it just doesn't feel right; maybe i wasn't prepared for it. It never dawned on me that I was leaving iSpark, with the feeling of leaving hci stronger in me, until a few weeks ago when iSpark Nite's date was confirmed. And I realised that I didn't attend much of iSpark Nites over the years as an iSpark student; the last time i did was in Sec one. Sec two i think i flew off for some exchange programme in taiwan before school ended and missing iSpark Nite at the same time, Sec three I had selection camp for council. Thus I attended the first and the last of iSpark Nites that I can attend and it was somehow significant though, the notion of being there at the beginning and back at the end.

And as tradition goes, Sec fours aren't allowed to stay over in school after iSpark Nite because of chinese Os, not that we really wanted to anyway. The performances weren't exactly fantabulous, with some inaudible skits from some Sec one and two classes, but really, kudos to them for their bravery and their numerous and mostly failed attempts to get the audience to laugh at "funny" parts of their skits. Oh ya, and I was quite surprised that yuquan could sing so well! And compose too, though the lyrics don't seem to rhyme and go with the melody of the song, but yeah, it spoke a lot of meaning. No doubt, his class got first prize for the performance that was largely dominated by him with his classmates randomly throwing light sticks across the darkened stage. Oh, there were some amateurish dances from the Sec three classes which were really terrible. Firstly, using songs composed by rock bands to dance to isn't smart at all; the only decent dance track that they used was "believe me" by fort minor. Believe me, it's horrendous. Secondly i can recognise that one of the dance that involved chairs came from 13th slc so boo, no originality. And thirdly, their dance moves were not in sync, slow and didn't follow the beat so yeah, you have dances that are so painful to watch that you just wanna put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. But there was one sec three guy that was kinda impressive: he managed to do body waves though it wasn't really obvious and awesome enough but yea, he was definitely way better than others.

I think overall iSpark Nite was quite alright, and the montage every sec four class was shown at the end, with representatives coming out to speak and thank everyone. And I couldn't help but laugh at kee en's description of our class: "hormone-charged", "wacky". Brings back memories of insane, funny moments of the class. And i managed to save 4O's montage cause they didn't pass theirs to the iSpark Nite OT, yeah but fortunately i brought my thumbdrive and it still had some batch dinner documents in it. And at the end, it was overwhelming as all the sec fours stood on stage to sing "Peng You" in sad final farewell. All of us received the tequila shotglass with the iSpark logo on it and yeah, we graduated and officially left iSpark.

I think looking back, i'm glad that I decided to join iSpark, else i would have been in aphelion. I've no regrets and all that's left are just memories. I still rmb all the fun times we had and you can say that the iSpark sec four batch is very bonded. You can call us a weird bunch of people with strange personalities and behaviours, but yeah, that's the way we are xD iSpark woo!!! Thank you to all the teachers who have taught me, who raised us up so that we can stand on mountains, and walk on stormy seas... and eventually to become more than what we can be...














And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it

Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go

Just so you know

So that's it, i guess this is really the end.

sheesh, there's a huge stack of chinese homework to do, but I don't want to... gahh. But oh well, it's all for our own good isn't it. Well I guess I'll find time to do then(I hope so)

I guess my grades aren't as bad as I thought, got like 1.2 - 1.3 for msg, which was better than expected, but still couldn't get that magical one. Oh wells, at least it's below 1.5
My chinese grades have been shitty lately, gosh this is not good. And i can't believe my paper 1's marks are higher than my paper 2 =.= sheesh, guess that means more work then for I desparately need A2 for chinese Os, bleh...

hmm nvm daijobu! Everything will work out well in the end, chinese A1 ftw!

Batch Dinner!


pre-event. all geared up for the big night ^^



The 34th HSC team (: haha, qi han really looked like timberlake with his cool hat yo...



ooooohhh... so that's why he was wearing a hat, to hide his messed-up hair, haha. And ms foo's really the centre of attention, literally xD

oh boy, i'm gonna miss the times we've had, a lot...



And we have all grown up

Framed Reaælity: Batch of 2007!

Well the reason why I wasn't back at this place rigt after the exams was because I was busy with this memorable event, an event of immense significance and importance to every single student of HCI Sec 4 Batch 2007, and I would say I am honoured to be organising it for my batchmates. It has been an unforgettable four years for all of us, and to each of us these four years a unique, special meaning that no one will be able to fully understand and comprehend. This is the legacy that we are gonna leave behind, our very own legacy of our four years in Hwa Chong. I still rmb Mrs Janey Sim questioning us when we were Sec Ones, that what will be our legacy that we wanna leave behind after these four years in high school and what do we want for ourselves in these four years. Well, I guess we have answered her question and yeah, i think she will agree with us that we have left a lasting, memeorable legacy, one that is dear to the Batch of 2007

Emotions were high during the Dinner and deep down, I guess everything that I have done and all efforts of HSC is really worthwhile after all. I rmb a few weeks back i was still seething about 4P's ruckus during student forum and how not a single soul for 4P attended the Dinner in the end in spite of us going through all the trouble of rearranging the dates and making enquiries to all the different hotels all over again just in order to accomodate them. I rmb the desperation and uncertainty that I felt when chasing money here and there, the passiveness of the student cohort in giving us support and cooperating with us. I had mixed feelings about the cohort; on one hand I am part of it, on the other they seem to be critical and assert that whatever they say is right, esp. towards council. I kinda agree with jy, that our school's culture is such that there is always a constant strive for excellence and there is no margin for error, with high expectations from every single thing. Thus everything that is substandard or not to the batch's liking gets blasted and well no doubt, HSC always bear the brunt of their attacks.

Well personally, organising Batch Dinner has been a journey for me and the team. I swear that i'm never ever gonna be taken in by the opposing comments of others that does not have a constructive purpose, nor be swayed by anybody or anything else. I guess I have learnt to trust myself more often, sigh...

Ironically however, it is through Batch Dinner that I was reminded again the true meaning of council and what I've always stand for. Seeing everyone dolled up of the event and enjoying themselves really tocuhed my heart. Mr Fong's rare pre-event briefing and pep-talk to all of us brought me to my senses and enlightened me. It was a new perspective that I never had in mind, a view that i should have know and i kicked myself for not envisioning it as the aim of Batch Dinner, which was to let our batchmates enjoy themselves and more importantly, to make the night their night and also to enjoy ourselves. I guess i was too caught up with the planning and stuff that i lost sight and yeah, he pulled me back through his thoughts. And it was very, very strange for me because all this while, all the late nights rushing action plan, programmes dominated my thoughts and inner feelings, and I was trying to put things together and make it a smashing success. But never once was I aware of the true, underlying meaning and objective of our Batch Dinner, only until yesterday. I hate myself for that, and I'm glad that I'm seen the light.

Everything went well yesterday at hilton, and even if we screwed up here and there, we aren't get upset all over it because it wouldn't be nice at all. Kudos to alf and che jian for being great emcees and adapting very well to the constant changes of the programmes. I think without them, this dinner will phail, yeah. Everyone look perfect, and the various montages brought back countless of memories of these 4 years that we have spent together. And we sang the school song at the end and all those songs of friendship that we usually sing during assembly, like peng2 you3 etc. I guess the teachers must be proud too, to have seen all of us grow up into fine young gentlemen of the school. It is not how good the event was for the teachers for it is alreay a bonus treat to see all their students graudating and their efforts ans sacrifices to have paid off

And yeah i was saying that this dinner reminded me the true meaning of council. Because I can full understand the word "sacrifice", one of te key elements of the continuous drive for the betterment of the students, be it welfare, school life etc. And it is these "sacrifices", without demanding any returns at all, that we make as HSC which gives meaning to our jobs and fill our souls, giving us the will to carry on. That's what I feel. It takes millions to bring us down for no matter the situation, no matter the number of fingers pointing at us, no matter the number of accusations and sacarstic, critical comments made by the students, we will still be there for the students, showing our sincerity and passion to serve the school. Not to be confused with being slaves for the students and dominated by them; that should never happen for we are not obliged to take instructions from them and let them dominate our work. Yeah, in the end our sacrifices are worthwhile and I'm all of us are just heartened that our batchmates have enjoyed despite running around to deal with logs and performances and eating very little. And I realised that in the end it is up to me to choose the memories that I want rmb thus I choose to no longer rmb the anger and negative emotions in me during the pre-event, but jut being content, heartend, relieved and grateful that all of us pulled this off. It's worth the effort, worth the sacrifices that we have all made. And that for me is my interpretation of the true spirit of a HC councillor

Thank you HSC for making this year a memorable one and I couldn't have done this without the support of you guys. I'm so grateful that I am part of this awesome team that is capable of anything and also overcoming everything. Thank you Mr Fong and Ms Foo for your guidance for without which I wouldn't really know what to do and miss out a lot of important tasks and also the sacrifices that you have made for council. The last thing which we don't want to happen, on every single one of our minds, is to let both of you worry, really. And yeah, as I made my way home that night, I was overwhelmed by emotions, catching the last train home which seemed so significant and coincidental, like this is the last part of our journey for us and soon definitely, the beginning of a new one for all of us. And strangely, as i plugged in my earphones, this familiar song began to play as the last train brought me home, a song that was played 9 months ago on the 17th of Jan, a song that I'm finally able to understand its meaning and relate to it:


I've never been the one to raise my hand,
That was not me and now that's who I am

Because of you I am standing tall,
My heart is full of endless gratitude,
You were the one, the one to guide me through,
Now I can see and I believe it's only just beginning

This what we dream about
but the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

I guess I've learned, to question is to grow
That you still have faith, is all I need to know
I've learned to love, myself in spite of me
And I've learned to walk, the road that I believe

This what we dream about
but the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

Everybody needs to rise up
Everybody needs to be loved, to be loved

This what we dream about
but the only question with me now
Is do I make you proud
Stronger than I've ever been now
Never been afraid of standing out
But do I make you proud

So, do I make you proud?


The 34th HSC. Remember the name.



I guess I have never regretted joining Hwa Chong and as well as Council. We are the last batch of The Chinese High School, the last ones to have the old triangular badge, and the yellow red PE attire. I'm proud to be a 华中子弟 and I'm forever one in my heart and soul as I leave Hwa Chong. Thank you to all for the memories of four great, wonderful and memorable years. 1N04, 2N05, 3M06, 4M07, iSpark, NPCC, iCouncil, 34th HSC







Thank you.

I'm coming back home, very soon (: 2 more papers, chi 1 and math 2 ^^ jiayou ppl!

I guess it's been a really crazy week, a week of last minute cramming, risking brain overload and burnt out, but I think it's been worthwhile. Or at least that's what I think. Not sure how well I fared, gah i think i screwed up some easy portions of various papers here and there and made like careless mistakes. But i'm not terribly fussed. Other than that those stuff everything else is alright. I think it's sufficient ^^ Everything's gonna be alright, be strong believe (:

My 3rd time doing the JOPs, gah. I think i can like rmb most questions? Quote maumu, the imba-marking speed dude: "Any noOb can do math". Yeah, if 3 times over of JOP don't get me a nice grade, then I really don't know what to say...

4 more days...

Alas, somehow i got pulled back to this space. 3 weeks more...

something random and stress-relieving, to cure myself of insanity...



from my first ever movie, "The Lion King" i think,1994 ^^

and also, i didn't know we all once looked so cute...



when we were young...





(:

well, this is kinda my last post before i slip/"sleep" into hibernation.

Won't be around in this space for quite a while, so miss me ^^ I so wish that eoys are over, gosh. It will soon be though ^^ i can see the light, yay. Term 3 results hit home like a baseball bat and it felt like I smashed my face against the wall or smth. It hurts. Hope it's just a normal slip-up, as what maumu says. Sigh, I guess it's make or break.

I've formed my resolve. Till then.


I don't wanna live a life of regrets

Follow the notes upon the journey
At first sight marks one's destiny
Once the voyage comes to an end
Return lies within hasty key

gosh, secret is so nice, so touching. And there's no secret when it comes to Jay's talent in music ^^ lol, now I know the secret... and i guess everyone else too, so what's so secretive about it xD

well, it doesn't feel right not training ytd, since we have already "popped", so yeah, just went down to salt centre to observe them for a while. And it was their last training of the year, meaning that we passed out on the second last one. Shrugs, how senseless. And it feels so different, just observing training and seeing how our successors conduct trainings. Oh, needless to need, I dashed off when I saw maumu. Heh, now i'm finally free.

This week's quite slacky, with our sabbaticals. Found time to do some mugging, yay. Well at least I finally got started. Found some time to paint too, something that I haven't done for quite a while and I sorely miss.

30 more days baby, oh yea. Somehow I always get this unique, special feeling at this time of the year. Maybe it's the feeling that everything's gonna be over? Maybe it's the feeling of relief, that school life has slowed? Or maybe it's because I've got more time for myself? I dunno, never quite figured out. And for me, such a feeling that I get changes my school environment too, like the smell of the air seems fresher, and every movement in school seems slower than usual. I dunno, it just makes me feel different, like I've never been so happy before. Lots of things happened which prompts me to be even more motivated. Don't worry, I'm not gonna let anyone, including myself, down.

I'm all geared-up. Bring it on.

Let the final act begin, and let it begin, with me.


Bankai.

hey world! haven't been blogging lately so i shall do one, heh

So that was it, my passing-out parade, nothing fanciful. Just the usual parade, as the sec 4s march out proudl to receive our certificates. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry, upon seeing the standard of the sec 4 footdrill. It sucks big time yeah, but then again no one really care so yup, you have a sec 4 squad marching like a sec 1. Kinda feels like a life cycle: you are born weak and vulnerable, grow and mature into a fine, young adult, and then you go back to your original stage of innocence and vulnerability as an old fogey, and then you die. The end. Like our batch, back to where we came from again.

Well I guess all good things must come to an end, not that np life for me was particularly good, but I say it was a once in a life-time experience. Remembered how we pumped together under the hot sun at the parade squad beside the old drill shed? Remember the times we trained for campcraft comp, till late at night? Remember the times we got screwed by chaorong and calvin, repeating the commands over and over again till it's in our heads? That's my np for you. And how could I forget the time when we were taught about school pride and were punished severely for dong smth so silly that it was too embarassing to mention? And of course, how could I forget the times we spent together at ATC and ATF at Ubin, doing songs and cheers till our voices are hoarse?

All these fond memories came flooding back. And we endured a year of maumu too, getting screwed because of ExCo work and some of us getting the sack. And it was in such times that we stood up for one another, against the odds and turning the tide, proving that we are still worthy of our positions, a batch to behold. Jang told me it's possible for our batch to obtain 98% for the unit award. Hmm, 98%? Sounds great, i bet no other batch has done it before. At the end of the day, we proved maumu wrong alright...

As I gave the timing and said the npcc pledge the last time, tears were welling up in my eyes. I guess I'm confused too, on life without npcc, even though I've always put on a brave front and said that I wouldn't wanna come back. NP

Quiz comp was fun, mugging random stuff here and there. And I'm really proud of the sec 3s. Trained them and saw them grow up to become a better person. They are a very capable bunch, and the level of enthusiasm that they have is sufficient for them to surpass us I think. Hope they can bring more glory to our unit. Well I guess at this point in time of self-reflection, I look back at the legacy that I left behind in np and I realised how much I've grown. Thank you teacher officers, HO, and batchmates who have made this journey possible and I guess we will remember our time, our time as the squad of Batch 38.

And it is not just the legacy that I leave behind in np, but also the school. I guess I should start thinking about my future. Maybe I'll go into business in future? I think econs should be a subject for me. Or I think the most likely job for me would be a civil servant then. Good pay, nice job, yep i think it should be a good start. Should be, that is. Shrugs, I'm quite undecided. Dang, why do I have to take compulsory China studies in Chinese? Goodness... my combi's gonna be quite screwed. Maybe I should be an arts student? Maybe I should take KI? And with Council being a strong part of me, maybe I should run for college council next year?

Well then, maybe I should start studying and do revision, blah.


And maybe, just maybe, it will be the beginning of all the miracles to come

And of all the hopes and dreams
When all you've got to do, is believe




Con te partirò

hello world.

Yep, we did it. We won. Sweet victory.
Somehow it feels weird for it to be over. No more crazy mugging sessions, well at least our hard work paid off. I can't say we are as "zai", as "mug" as our seniors, but how much we prepared was sufficient to win. Training started since last year, and I still remember doing the general knowledge portion of the selection test. Wasn't part of it in the first place, just happily did that portion for fun cause it's quite interesting. Funnily i got in the end, =.= oh well, what's left are just memories of training sessions, with a whole load of crap, haha. So fun, talking rubbish together and being lame. Ah well, that's my quiz comp then. Heh, we'll get what we deserve soon ^^

I guess the other teams did well to, esp. ny who got 2nd and 3rd. Quite impressive cause they improved a lot since the last time in 05. Trained very hard too like us. And hq is kinda screwed up, with a lot of mistakes during the competition. Left a sour note with us, cause many of the mistakes aren't suppose to happen. The emcees are noobs; they can't even pronouce "Constabulary" properly. In fact I don't think they even rehearse properly.

Quiz team 09 jiayou! Continue this great legacy and make it 5! ^^

National day's here, time to feel the patriotism in us yo... count on me, singapore
Heh, c'mon everybody, wave your flags!! ^^ feel the love y'all!

it's a beautiful day, after all

Another summer day,
has come and gone away,
in Paris and Rome,
but I wanna go home...

okay this is the final lap, I'm raising my bat, ready to hit a homerun. C'mon! (:

Well at least my humanities research paper is finally done, out of the way. No need for any IH tests at the end of the year, which is kinda great. Less subjects to mug. Shrugs, dunno how much I will get for it. Just got a new laptop, which in a sense save my ass cause was able to finish up my HRP with it. heh, like it a lot. 2GB ram and 160GB of memory space, has the speed and space that I dearly need for work. Old one died, sort of cough and sputtered before its dead.

This week's tests are over but more's coming. Another triple science test coming up, boo T_T. Too many things, too little time, gahh. And I swear that I'll never be the weakest link, grr.. just watch me on fri, rawr. It'll be my homerun.

Let me go home...
I had my run, baby I'm done
I gotta go home

Let me go home...
It'll be alright,
I'll be home tonight,
I'm coming back home

DING-A-DANG DONG WE'RE THE CHAMPIONS!! Yayness.

Erm... peek-a-boo? I'm back? Yeah, long while, busy schedule. SSDD.

Still I managed to finish hallows today, yay. Overall a good read, but the ending's quite rush and a little too feel-good? My opinion though.

Mixed feelings, i would say, after all the finals were over. team HWACHONG did well, but still it hadn't been easy. Kudos to everyone who made every success possible, be it the students, the councillors, teachers, and most importantly, OUR sportsmen. Judokas, Gymnasts, Trackers, Canoeists etc. , thank you to all, you really did us proud. Swept track boys div for the second year running and a girls got second, a huge improvement from last year's 6th. Gym swept all the boys div championships too, no surprises. But the pain from Judo is still very much in all of us. Lost b div to raffles. Damn.

Heard from the others that our judokas fought really hard, and I think it's really the process that matters. Results are secondary. What matters is truly the team effort, the team HWACHONG one. We'll get back b div next year all right. Huan2 wo3 jiang1 shan1. I think, perhaps after everything, I finally have a greater understanding of the meaning the Hwa Chong spirit. And I'm proud to be the last batch "The Chinese High School", oh yeah.

Track was simply awesome. Banner hanging was super smooth. Light rain, but no strong winds. Heh, glad we built the tripods up the night before and prepared well, don't want a repeat of last year's fiasco, too much of a risk to take. Really proud of our nice-looking banners. Just lacked one banner on house 123 and 125. Heh, well done guys, HWA CHONG!! Hmm, just might surpass our seniors yeah? shrugs*

Had to do Gym Finals Marshall duty on fri, which was compulsory. So instead of watching our judokas in white gi throwing others we have our gymnasts doing cool, bouncy stuff. "Lean, mean, flipping machine", yeah? haha. The atmosphere was really rock-bottom. Jia Chen and co. hung up all our zai banners and half of the sports hall were hc banners. Yet, the organisers disallowed cheering during the Finals. The only thing we could do was clap and cheer softly. Rawr... it really sucks to be restrained. And it's even worse to be on duty. Just preventing people from going down to the competing arena for Gym, in full uniform. Can't do anything else at all. Cheering in my np uniform? No way, tancw will kill me. But no choice, there weren't any other days of duty to choose from: eve and actual day of track finals, which I certainly don't wanna miss. Gahh... should have been to judo finals and really do some zai cheering with the rest. Gym's way too quiet.

And I reckon that this will be the third last time i don my np uniform. Still have quiz comp finals and POP, rawr... sheesh, both nanyang np's teams are in finals, must do better. POP seems to take forever to come yeah, golly. Can't wait to pass out. Yep, i'll start fainting now ^^ techinally we are not involved in any np stuff anymore, just freeloaders perhaps? Still rmb how i quit track after 1 mth to join np, and it seems like it's just ytd. No regrets really. Still rmb one senior told us before, "The rank is what you wear, the respect is what you earn". Somehow the feelings for np have diminished after the exco promos. I'm so glad for the many wonderful memories in np but I'm not coming back, that's for sure.

Sheesh, I'm now so pissed with college council. Who do they think we are? Their slaves to help hang up all the banners and take down everything else for them? I'm so infuriated. "Oh, and we don't your quartermaster to accuse us of not helping to take down banners". Like harlow? Prize presentation for Judo Finals isn't over yet? I think they need to have some sense knocked into them, really. And it's a FACT that they didn't help us take down banners for track finals. Left their banners there. Expect us to bring everything back on our own. Judo too. Enough said about iresponsibility.

So much for being nice to them. And this is what we get in return.

I would fall asleep, only in hopes of dreaming
But I couldn't make you see it...

yep, we are back as machines at school, slogging out our hw and whatsoever's left undone. Everything just fall into place, all so clockwork. Wonder how long we are winded it for, and when the end of the string will come. Oh, how I wish I could just stop now...

it's the "same shit different day" kind of feeling again, with my holidays wasted. Loads of hw left undone and it wasn't a holiday at all. Wait, hold on, when were holidays ever holidays, the ones that you get to slack all day, all night long. Oh yes, that kind, those that will never happen. Fat hope. Guess fairy tales don't always come true, perhaps? Oh well, don't really care. Just get everything over and done with. I'm so sick of it.

Well on a lighter note, POP's coming, in about 7 weeks, minus quiz comp days, a post-NDP holiday and an promotion test day for the unit. Which is about 3 weeks left techically. No more a true-blue NP cadet soon, woohoo... besurai! (and there goes the one final bang) Hope the next batch of ExCo will do well and surpass us. I guess overall we did fairly okay as a batch, but there were too much unhappy stuff happening. Made too many mistakes. Looking back, I guess I'm satisfied with my NP life and I couln't ask for anything more than what was given, really. The experiences were valuable - push-ups in the sun, running like doggies, the ever-so-frequent "semulah" and being screamed at in the face for every damn mistake we made. But it was certainly worth all the while. I guess I wasn't the best of div chair, but I'm glad that I did what I could and leave everything nice and proper before I leave. Till then...

Heh, so hyped-up by team hwachong now. Dunno why but I guess the team hwachong initiative really appealed to me. Canoeing, Gym, Air Rifle, Judo and TnF people, jiayouzz!!! Hwa Chong! Heh, everything's ours to take. Heh, just you wait people, 18th july, we'll rock the house down! ^^

Oh wow, youth day's here. Er... am I suppose to be happy? Yeah, I feel so youthful, so refreshing, so full of life... bullshit, everything's just a fallacy, in no time we'll just grow old and die, ending our lives. We seriously are lacking in being youthful as students, to think of it. Gahh... from another point of view: it just means an extra day for work and maybe just let our hair for a little while. So er... hurray for youth day?

Watched edc's production ytd. Was quite okay with thought-provoking moments, though to be frank, I don't think it was worth 10 dollars (sorry alvin) due to the short length of it, but yeah, nonetheless great job edc peeps! The best was "red man, green man" imo, very apt and thoughtfu;, plus some great acting encompassed with strong and impactful emotions. Others were light-hearted but well, wasn't my taste. But the main thing was the postdrama part. I somehow... lost my identity? I dunno, rather confused and awkward. Gahh... I dunno. Where exactly do I belong?

I search for an answer

Oh well, and I'm really upset with something which doesn't concerns me directly but yeah, I felt this way. Just hope that everything will turn out fine. Friends now, enemies tmr?

Oh oh oh, and and Live Earth's coming! Yayness... die climate change die, to hell with global warming. 070707, woohoo!! ^^ I think new york has the best line-up of musicians really.


brushofmight